I was eating lunch today...and even as my friend was making a joke that made me laugh...an Elton John song was playing on Pandora...and "safely hidden" beneath my houndstooth fedora...tears slipped down my face, as I listened to "rocket man"...a song that reminds me of my dad...and being little, and him springing me up into the air out of the pool...which was a "stunt"...he called "rocket man"....my heart just hurt. And I wanted to be 7 again...working in the garage with my dad...detailing my bike or something. Instead I was much older...but I still felt like a little girl...wanting to feel safe...
the night before, i checked my phone to see a text from my sister about my dad...i can't mention it now, because I don't want my lil people to find out yet...(he is alive...but I just don't want to mention it yet).......but
this...in combination with some other things going on in my life...made tears fall like rain...but hopefully it washed my heart a little...
"Those who sow (work) in tears..shall reap (take in, receive) in joy!"...this was like the biggest hug to my spirit...
We get these thoughts that try to discourage us...break our spirit...steal our joy....
and we MUST...must....be diligent and courageous in our thinking...not letting these pains and hurts of life...try to stop us...and kidnap our joy...
it never fails...as soon as you start working hard for something..going after your dream...trying to quit a bad habit...repairing an emotional wound....
it seems as if a sign that says "please attack me...make this harder than it is"...comes on...and next thing you know your doubting your ability and your strength...
I cried tonight as I drove home...through the dark desert...and as no one answered their phone to talk with my "lonely" little self...I had no options left but to listen to a cd....I put in a cd of mine....and the voice boomed through the speakers right to my heart....
NEVER GIVE UP!!!! Never let your "down" thoughts keep you down....
for after a season...the hard work you went through when the tears were falling.....God will say..."it's okay...your were just watering your blessing with the most precious drops from your heart....."
if you are hurting.....just know every tear is precious....and it is most definitely watering the beautiful flowers of blessings that are just waiting to spring up!!!
huge, huge love from my heart to you......and please feel the hug I'm sending too....I know I could always use an extra "hug thought"......
